Transform "The Secret" To Results in 30 Minutes Or Less

Are you one of my friends who’s hooked on “The Secret”?

Or are you a critic of “The Secret”?

I like “The Secret”, within reason. Just like the book, “Think And Grow Rich”, and the book, “The Science of Getting Rich”, I won’t deny that how we think effects what we do and how we do it. Where ever we go, there we are, and there our beliefs are that come with us.

However, I also think that the concept, “Thoughts are Things” only partly gets the job done. I’ve lots of friends who subscribe to, “The Secret” who are still “trying” to get what they want.

Like many other practices, I think it’s necessary, but insufficient.

Here’s what I mean – in short –

• Affirmations without action risk producing nothing but self-chatter.
• Action without connection to the driving value risks becoming tedious drudgery and ‘have to’s.
• Understanding the driving values without *experiencing* it viscerally risks living as cognitive reporting without the life juice of emotion.

You’ve heard me talk about this quad before (values, thoughts, action, emotion) if you’ve taken my 10-Minute Manifestor ™ course.

And you’ve heard me talk about the whole system of you (mind, body, spirit, heart, gut, action, environment) if you’ve done anything with The Integrated Approach (TIA – “TEE-ah”).

Meanwhile, here’s a way you can Transform “The Secret” To Results in 30 Minutes Or Less!

WHAT TO DO:

1. Decide what it is you want to manifest. Your response might be something like, “more love”, “more money”, or “more delight about my job”.
2. Transform the “more” into measurables. How will you know when you’ve landed? How much? By when? Your response might be something like, “A life partner before Dec 2009″ or “$10K more income by Nov. 15th” or “I rank myself at a 7 or above of delight (on a scale of 10) about my job by this time next week”.
3. Name 1-3 underlying values you’re trying to fulfill with this desire. (For a list of core motives, underlying values, universal needs, go to page 2 of this document)
4. For 90 seconds, experience the joy, delight and fulfillment of what it looks like when you’ve ALREADY experienced fulfillment of #1. What do you feel? Where in your body do you feel it? What’s different about your posture, your emotions, how you think, how you talk, or how you act? How are others treating you differently? How does that feel? Stay with this until you experience the delight at a 7 or above (on a scale of 10).
5. This is the important part: As soon as you have hit your 7-or-above on #5, go do something right now that is precisely what you’d be doing when you are already fulfilled on this thing that you want. This isn’t about doing something *toward* getting what you want. You can (and likely will) do that later. This is about embodying that you are already there, right now. If your desire was for “more love”, maybe right now you’ll spend 10 minutes journaling and cherishing how fulfilling it is to have so much love in your life. If your desire was for “more money”, maybe what you’d do right now is go relax in the sunshine for 10 minutes and enjoy the breeze – now that you have what you need you can rest. If your desire was for “more delight about work”, maybe what you’ll do right now is a bit more work you love, because that’s what you’d do right now if you were in love with your work.

By combining “The Secret” with complementary practices from other domains, we get a tool that gets the job done more quickly, more effectively, and with longer-lasting results. How else can you “melt the ice cube from all sides”(tm) ?

Try it and tell me your results, below!!

Curious,
Gail

Relieve Depression Without Drugs

I’ve treated several clients diagnosed with depression. In “melting the ice cube from all sides”, here’s a reference for dietary factors that can reduce or eliminate depression:

“The following dietary supplements have been shown to help restore neurotransmitter levels and alleviate depression:

• B vitamins—A full complement of B vitamins (including at least 1000 micrograms (mcg) vitamin B12, 250 milligrams (mg) vitamin B6, and 800 mcg of folic acid daily
• Zinc—15 to 30 mg daily
• TMG—2 to 4 grams (g) daily
• Cytidine diphosphate choline—250 to 500 mg daily (alternatively, 1 to 3 teaspoons liquid choline chloride mixed with 2 ounces juice daily, 1 tablespoon pure lecithin granules daily, or 250 mg glyceryl phosphoryl choline daily)
• Micronized creatine—500 mg (in capsule form) four to eight times daily
• N-acetylcysteine—600 mg (in capsule form) one to two times daily on an empty stomach
• Vitamin C—1 to 3 g daily
• Vitamin E—400 International Units (IU) daily, with 200 mg gamma tocopherol
• EPA/DHA—1400 mg EPA and 1000 mg DHA daily
• SAMe—400 to 1200 mg daily without food
• St John’s wort—300 to 900 mg daily
• Ginkgo biloba—120 mg daily
• L-phenylalanine—500 to 1000 mg early in the day
• Tyrosine—500 to 1000 mg daily
• Tryptophan—500 to 1000 mg once or twice daily on an empty stomach
• DHEA—15 to 75 mg daily, followed by blood testing in three to six weeks to make sure optimal levels are maintained. “

Reference: http://www.lef.org/protocols/emotional_health/depression_01.htm

Personally, I also find my mood elevates when I take Vitamin D (6K IUs/day, since I don’t get as much sun exposure as our bodies need to produce it on my own), and Emergen-C packs (2 per day if I’m very busy, full of vitamins and high levels of Vit.C).

And of course, there’s always the euphoria chocolate gives (same as the biochemistry post-orgasm). You pick your weapon of choice.

New entry!

There’s a new entry on my personal blog, entries I don’t keep here, are there!

http://tiagail.wordpress.com/2008/09/02/catching-up-with-you/

Enjoy!
Gail

A Perspective Of God

A Perspective Of God

we’re in a playground
the playground is for taking Thought beyond where It’s been before
(Thought. Experience.)

and this playground is a smorgasbord of choices.
all of them.
all of the spiral, all quadrants, levels, lines, states, and types
all of the myriad choices of what it is to Be.

Self can be a dog rolling in the grass, and Experience That.
And That Is Good.
Self can be a wealthy old man coddling his granddaughter in love.
And That Is Good.
Self can be a 20-something, or a 30-something, or a 40-something, starting to Remember Self in the bodymind,
remembering that We Are That.

As Omniscience, as Omnipresence,
the one thing Self canNOT do -
is forget that It Is.
But in this playground, we can forget that We Are.

In this plaground, Self can be a dog rolling in the grass, utterly having forgotten that We Are. And enjoying being a dog in the grass.

In this playground, Self can be a grandfather coddling his granddaughter, utterly having forgotten that He Is. And enjoying the limited view.

In this playground, Self can be a someone something, remembering Self again, and enjoying the Experience of re-membering.
And That Is Good.

Self can be a child dying.
And That Is Good.
One thing Self canNOT do – is forget that It Is,
and Experience being a child dying.
But a dying child CAN experience being a child dying.
and in the eyes of Self -
That Is Good.
It is Experience.
It is what takes Experience beyond the Nondual, beyond Omniscience
It’s Play in the Playground.

we’re in a playground
the playground is for taking Thought beyond where It’s been before
(Thought. Experience.)

and this playground is a smorgasbord of choices.
all of them.
all of the spiral, all quadrants, levels, lines, states, and types
all of the myriad choices of what it is to Be.

Including, being a perspective that doesn’t believe this poem.

Come. Let’s dance.

What are the 3 Bodies?

This content is an excerpt from a conversation.

Previously in the conversation we talked about empathy, mirroring, and what a reflection is. In
this post the conversation continues.

enjoy!
g

————–

this,
i believe is related to an earlier discussion you and i had with
regard to what i think you spoke of as the levels/stages of reflection.

Ah…now levels/stages is a totally separate topic from empathy/ reflection.

In KW’s work, we have 3 bodies, each body has an associated “state” of consciousness.

- gross/physical body – awake state
- subtle body – dream state
- causal body – deep-sleep state.

We are capable of recognizing each of these “states of consciousness” and “3 bodies”. When we are awake, there’s a physical, tangible world. When we’re dreaming, we see images, we feel emotions, but then we wake to find that our physical body has been just laying in bed for 8 hours. In the deep-sleep state we’re utterly peaceful, expansive, in a place of ‘no-thingness’.

So now think of the 3 bodies as an ever-expanding sphere.

In the gross/physical body, we have tangibles, we have body-centric sensations (first stage – if you stump your toe, suddenly you’re entirely hijacked by the body-experience….if we’re too hungry, over-tired, when we orgasm, all of these gross-body states can overwhelm us and are more visible / more present to us than the other states).

In the subtle body, we have intangibles – emotion, chakra sensations that are not associated with a particular organ (heart-break isn’t in the physical heart; a lump in your throat isn’t an actual lump), images (close your eyes and don’t think of pink elephants)… We can “do a guided meditation”, which is to say we can “expand beyond” our “simple bodymind personality experience”, for example into an “image of a crystal clear stream winding softly through a lush forest”. The images, emotions, and organ-independant sensations in our bodies belong to the subtle-body. Ever “sense” when someone is staring at you? Subtle field. Ever “feel” an angry person from across the room without looking? Subtle body. Ever have a great night where you felt like a million bucks, and you walk into a room and the whole room turns to look at you, because your energy body radiates into the entire room? Subtle field. Enough of that…close your eyes and “go to your happy place”.

In the causal body, we “expand” beyond image, imagination, or bodymind emotions. In this “peak state”, common experiences include feeling utterly at peace, utterly infinite, feeling one with everything, feeling as if you Are Everything. Non-duality is a discussion among those who’ve had causal “peak” experiences. Ever experience feeling one with nature? Causal peak experience.

Let’s not confuse causal oneness with the non-differentiated infant who feels one with everything, though. First we are non-differentiated, then we differentiate, then we are capable of differentiation but also capable of oneness.

Likewise, Deida refers to 3 Stages – first we’re me-centric, then i differentiate others and become “we-aware”, then i become aware of something beyond “us” into something far greater. 1st, 2nd, 3rd stage. Likewise, if I’m having a “1st stage moment” i’m probably focused on the toe i stumped that hurts, or the growl in my stomach (all gross-body phenomena). If I’m having a 2nd stage moment I’m probably doing an “I’m ok, are you ok?” we-space check. If I’m having a 3rd stage moment I’m capable of tuning into and taking care of me, I’m capable of tuning into and taking care of you / other / us….and now I can – as an act of art, as full choice, as an expanded act connected into a far larger system than the personalities of you and me, make another choice that transcends you, me, or even the system of the tangible world…

1st, 2nd, 3rd.

I think we were talking about the 3 stages relative to Sasha’s growth (or yours, for that matter, in terms of your needs-consciousness). Previously, you were largely unexpressed about your needs in terms of making requests (a 1st state area of development) but you’d try to meet your needs subversively. In the 2nd stage, we get masterful at making requests to meet our own needs in a way that also is in concert with the needs of the other. In 3rd stage practice, we can now adeptly attend to our needs, attend to others’ needs, or drop needs altogether and transcend them into our Infinite Self, or we can include them and play the bodymind like an instrument and choose to attend, or refuse to attend, to needs as a face of Love, as an experiment in “What Opens Us/Other/System/Infinite more fully?”.

Ask me questions if any of this sounds fuzzy – i’ve had Pinot Noir tonight. *wink*

What is a Reflection / Empathy Guess?

Another excerpt of an email conversation!

Enjoy,
Gail

in our conversation last night, i found myself tripping up on
offering you a reflection of your feelings vs telling stories.

a classic, textbook reflection / empathy / mirroring is simply 2 parts:

Feeling + Need + ?

(hehehe..3parts, it helps if it’s a question, not a statement).

Ex: are you (feeling) concerned because you need to trust you’re safe?
Ex: are you (feeling) flustered because you’d like clarity?

If it’s a statement, you revert to education rather than inviting the other to check in with themselves. The idea behind empathic reflections/mirroring is not only about mutual understanding; it also helps the speaker get self-connected and reduce emotional hijack. But if you say it as a statement (ex: “Oh i get it you’re concerned b/c you want to be safe” the other person may not take it well “stop psychoanalyzing me!” or “don’t tell me who i am!!”). Keeping it as a question helps them hear your guess as just that – a guess – which helps them to self-connect while they check out the guess.

Meanwhile, the whole “Are you Feeling because you Need XYZ” — this crap gets canned and corny really quick, so once we get the F/N base, we can go a bit more colloquial:

Ex: so do i get that you’re upset b/c you really want companionship?
Ex: are you frustrated b/c you’d prefer to have more confidence i hear you?

One of the tricks of empathic reflection is NOT getting yourself caught into it. This is NOT about you, this is NOT about including you. Ex: “are you frustrated because i interrupted you” is not an empathy guess, it’s a mistake of you confusing strategy (what you did) with need (what stimulates the other person’s frustration). Instead, try “are you frustrated because YOU really want to be heard?”

This also helps us, as listener, get out of the blame-game, because we’re not confusing us with the internal experience of the other.

Ex:
replace “are you irritated b/c you want me to not interrupt you”
with “are you irritated b/c you dearly want space to speak”

More colloquial flow comes when we get the concept beyond the form:

“Yeah, part of what i get is that when you’re not getting the kind of companionship you want, it’s frustrating for you and you feel lonely…you really WANT that companionship….is that right?”

Here i have the Feeling (frustrated, lonely) and the need (companionship), but it’s completely outside the form of “are you F b/c you N…?”

Here’s another:

“I imagine it’s confusing for you to not know what to do, because you’d really like the clarity and the sense of understanding how to move forward. Is that right?”

Again I have the Feeling (confusion) and the need (clarity, understanding), and it’s still in the form of inquiry (“is that right?”), but it’s totally out of the form of “F + N + ?”.

The common habits we’re trained include lots of slippery slopes. One, is we mix up “feel like’ and “feel that” with “feelings”. When we start with “feel like’ or “feel as if” – whatever comes next will be a thought, an image, a story. “I feel like she’s being an idiot”. That’s not a “feeling”, feelings are internal emotions separate from others. I can feel sad, happy, delighted, irritated, confused, anxious. These are “feelings”. “I feel like this just isn’t going to work” isn’t a “feeling”, it’s a thought, an assessment, a conclusion your mind has come to. When we talk about our thoughts, assessments, and conclusions, we risk putting forward points for debate. When we talk about our feelings, we’re merely stating internal states; who can argue with that. “I’m feeling sad.” “No you’re not!”

??

So by talking about feelings (not thoughts, stories, or assessments) we make it easier for others to hear our deepest intentions without distraction.

Likewise, we can go a slippery slope on the Needs bit, too. Ex: “I need you to shut up” is not a need, it’s what i want as a strategy. Anytime we follow “need” with “you/him/her/me” or say “need to”, odds are we’re ending with a strategy. Just like thoughts, when we talk about strategies instead of underlying universal needs, we have room for combat, debate, argument.

Ex: “I need you to clean your room” / “I don’t want to!!”
instead, try “I dearly need order” (now we can collaborate on a strategy to meet your need in a way that works for both of us.

When we talk, think, and ask questions in terms of NEEDS inquiry, we have a powerful tool for creativity and resourcefulness; I like to say there are 10K strategies to meet a need. But when we talk in terms of thoughts, strategies, and assessments, we quickly paint ourselves into a corner that’s hard to get out of.

Ex: “I just feel like this isn’t working” (doesn’t give me options, does it?)
Ex: “I am SO frustrated – I really want this to be easier for us!!” (now you can make a request that will help things get easier) “Can we just take a breath and hold hands for a few minutes while we think up ideas?”

So – bottom line:

Empathy guess / reflection / mirroring in TIA consists of 90% needs-awareness, 10% emotional awareness (cuz it helps us more powerfully express the depth of the yearning).

Ex: Are you F b/c you N….?
Ex: Are you delighted because you’ve had so much play this week?
Ex: I imagine you’re sad, cuz you want more support, huh?
Ex: Is it that you’re bewildered b/c you’d really like to get a handle on what’s going on? (“get a handle on” is colloquial for “understanding”/”clarity”).

Does this help you make more sense of what i’m hoping for when i say i need “reflection”, or “empathy”?

What’s an Observation?

To observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.
- Jiddu Krishnamurti

When we think and communicate based on pure observation, needs and requests, we increase the likelihood for movement, connection and fulfillment.

For the sake of increasing fulfillment, I invite you to replace the use of “observation” as it is colloquially used (to mean “to state an opinion or conclusion”) with a sense of speaking about the world in observations that are without conclusion, assessment, opinion, or judgement.

Observation is:
- the act of making and recording a measurement. Ex: “Three times this week”. Therefore “always”, “never”, and “sometimes” are not observations, but assessments. “You never XYZ,” is not an observation. “Twice last week you didn’t XYZ…,” may be an observation.

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence. Ex: “The door closed.” Therefore, interpretation is not the same as observation, “you slammed the door” is an interpretation. “I have not heard you tell me back what I’m saying” is an observation. “You’re not listening,” is an interpretation.

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence. Ex: “I asked twice and twice he said ‘no’,” is an observation. “He is stubborn,” is a label, an assessment, an opinion, a judgment.

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence. Ex: “I have met 2 people who earned more than I earn who I did not like,” is an observation. “Rich people are mean, they think they’re entitled,” are generalizations, categorizations (ie: assessments, not observations).

Observation is:
- recognizing and noting some fact or occurrence, without making meaning. Ex: “1000 suicide bombers died last year,” is an observation. “The world is being overrun by suicide bombers,” is an extrapolation of you making meaning, your opinion / conclusion that doesn’t represent a fact.

Observation is:
- free of judgment, opinion, analysis, assessment, generalization, or interpretation. Ex: “I observe that 3 days last week you told me you were busy,” is an observation. “I observe that she’s pathological,” is not an observation, it’s an assessment, an analysis, regardless of the fact that the word ‘observe’ is being used. “She is wearing a red hat,” is an observation. “She’s dressed strangely,” is an opinion.

Think of it this way – if someone can argue with you on your statement or debate the validity of it, or if it could not be recorded on a video or on tape, then it’s likely not an observation.

How are your powers of observation?

FACT OR THOUGHT?
For each of these sentences would you assess it as an observation or as an opinion? If you think the sentence is an opinion, how might it be changed to qualify as an observation?

- The world is falling apart.
- I’m having a bizarre day.
- You’re just PMSing.
- He’s difficult.
- He hung up on me 3 times! He’s a jerk!
- You’re a terrific dancer.
- You’re the best dancer I’ve ever danced with.
- I love how you waltz.
- I notice I’m obsessing.
- I notice I’m spending more than 2 hours a day thinking about it.
- I observed that he was too impatient to talk to me.
- She said it in a threatening tone of voice. Everyone would agree!

Yes.

“If you think you can, or if you think you can’t, you’re right.”
– Henry Ford

Personality Split hehe

Ok…so it’s been confusing for me. Where do I blog things about TIA? Where do I blog things that are a bit more personal and a bit less “the practice”? Isn’t It All One, anyway?

Well today it finally decided itself.

I’ll post here, items directly related to TIA.

For more personal, wider-subject-matter posts, please check out my personal blog here:
http://tiagail.wordpress.com/

New posts going up there include such goodies as:

• Warning! Warning! hehe
• Mutant Healing
• I Didn’t Even Touch Him

and others from the “Modern Miracles” series.

More coming soon!
Gail

Returning Guest

Wow – it’s been a long time since I made a blog post. (Why does that sound like something you’d say in Confession?)

Partially it’s travel. Partially it was the heartbreak of losing Grady, and all of the noise that emerged from that that I was processing. Partially it was me getting in my own way, self-editing and re-self-editing and re-self-editing until I don’t do anything but hide in corners anyway.

Meanwhile life goes on, the players come and go.

So I think I’m a “returning guest” to my life.

I’m learning to lighten up.

Some, anyway.

Now, where did I put those 40 blog post drafts that I started and was too afraid to finish….

Here we go…